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July 22nd, 2017

Randalls Rant – Kid Rock, Coffee and Karma Open Thread

A BIG Hello my fellow garage dwellers and lovers of the Barley and Hops.

I remember as a young man I use to ‘Laugh Out Loud’ when my family all got together and while sitting around the kitchen table the topic of conversation always seemed to center around the latest aches, pains, medications, doctors’ appointments and the rotten tricks played by Father Time as the years go by.

It was like witnessing a meeting of the Local Chapter of Hypochondriacs United.

Now in my middle 50’s let me just say, “Karma is a real bitch!”

“DAMN YOU FATHER TIME, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!”

Bad back, aches and pains in my right shoulder, left hip and groin going to hell, a floaty in either the right or left eye on a daily basis, ear and nose hair that grows at a rate 63 times faster than the hair on my head and a sagging ball sack that both my cats treat as their personal Speed Bag when standing nekkid at the sink shaving.

Knock on wood at least I am still of sound mind, “WHO IS IT?”

Sheeesh, that is so old…
Kid Rock Trolls Schmuck Schumer and Dingbat Debbie Stabenow
Could this be Kid Rocks first official Tweet as a contender for Michigans own Dingbat Debbie Stabenows Senate seat? Trolling Schmucky Schumer and Debbie Stabenow, “EPIC!” Almost makes me want to set up a Twitter account, “Not!”

‘MAKE AMERICA ROCK AGAIN’

To soon for me to officially jump on the Kid Rock campaign train but, I openly admit any non-politician who decides he or she has had enough of the status quo career politicians screwing us at every chance they do and can make Libtard Democrats the likes of ‘Big Chief Bull of Shit’ Elizabeth Warren beat the war drums will get my undivided attention.

“Honeeey, It’s Time to Get Uuup!” The U.S. Food and Drug Administration said a Texas company’s coffee is being recalled after customers got a rise from an ingredient with a Viagra-like effect.

So much for the The Breast er, Best Damn Coffee I have ever seen er, tasted! A new crackdown on bikini baristas may be coming soon to Everett, Wash. On Wednesday, the city council is debating two ordinances, one of which would require scantily-clad coffee makers to wear more clothes.

“Oooh, I LOVE THIS SONG!”
Warren Zevon – Werewolves Of London (1978) “CRANK IT UP!!!”

“AND HIS HAIR WAS PERFECT, DEEEP!”

And, lastley,,, talk about Karma! It looks as though the same people who had their asses kissed by Minneapolis Mayor ‘Wet Britches’ Betsy Hodges by allowing them block freeways and throw rocks and bottles at Police Officers are now coming after, Minneapolis Mayor ‘Wet Britches’ Betsy Hodges.

The ‘Minneapolis Clown Posse’ begin their protest at the 2:55 mark

I need to hurry and try to get a hold of Bestherbs Coffee LLC, based in Grand Prairie, Texas and see if it isn’t to late to order some of that hard, stiff coffee.

Have a great day all and God Bless

July 21st, 2017

I Stole My Ex-Wifes Ride

I Stole My Ex-Wifes Ride

July 21st, 2017

We’ll Right Back After This Brief Time Out…

Introducing the only piece of equipment designed specifically to elevate your honor,
FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE!

Drive a Full Sized American Flag From the Back Of Your Rig | FanPole

July 20th, 2017

WhiteSnake – Judgement Day

“CRANK IT UP!”

The night is gone,
The time has come
To find a new day has begun,
An’ it promises to stay
To soothe the pain of wasted years
An’ kiss away the bitter tears
A love to light the way

And from the darkness
Comes a smile,
That reaches out for many miles,
Touching everyone.
No more shadows of the past,
Your spirit free to fly at last,
Shining in the sun

Like the rolling thunder,
I feel the power of love,
It’s a gift from heaven
And the Lord above

We walk toward desire,
Hand and hand
Through fields of fire
With only love to light the way
On the road to Judgement Day

Take it easy, take it slow,
I’ll take you anywhere you want to go,
Places never seen before
‘Cause I love you, an’ I need you,
I’ll do my best to please you,
My love can open any door

When you hear the thunder
In your darkest night,
I’ll be there to hold you
When the lightning strikes

So don’t you worry,
You can ease your mind
‘Cause we’ll be dancing
At the end of time

Who loves you, who needs you,
Who’ll do his best to please you,
I love you, I need you
I’ll get down on my knees

We walk toward desire,
Hand and hand
Through fields of fire
With only love to light the way
On the road to Judgement Day

So don’t you worry, baby
On the road to Judgement Day
Who loves you, who needs you
On the road to Judgement Day

So I love you, and I need you
My love can open any door
My love can open any door

July 19th, 2017

Remember When Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges Wet Her Britches Over The Newest Somali Refugee Appointed To Her Police Department…

Minneapolis Mayor ‘Wet Britches’ Betsy Hodges welcomed her newest Somali refugee police officer posting on her Facebook page:

“I want to take a moment to recognize Officer Mohamed Noor, the newest Somali officer in the Minneapolis Police Department. Officer Noor has been assigned to the 5th Precinct, where his arrival has been highly celebrated, particularly by the Somali community in and around Karmel Mall.”

Seems like the good Minneapolis Mayor ‘Wet Britches’ Betsy Hodges doesn’t have as many laudatory comments to bestow upon her ‘Token Somali Refugee’ today:

Justine DamondStarTribune — A 40-year-old woman (Justine Damond) who family members said called 911 to report a possible assault in the alley behind her home Saturday night was fatally shot by a Minneapolis police officer.

Three sources with knowledge of the incident said Sunday that two officers in one squad car, responding to the 911 call, pulled into the alley. Damond, in her pajamas, went to the driver’s side door and was talking to the driver. The officer in the passenger seat pulled his gun and shot Damond through the driver’s side door, sources said. No weapon was found at the scene.

“The BCA’s investigation is in its early stages. More information will be available once initial interviews with incident participants and any witnesses are complete. … The officers’ body cameras were not turned on at the time and the squad camera did not capture the incident. Investigators are attempting to determine whether any video of the incident exists.”

The shooting was called “tragic” by Minneapolis Mayor ‘Wet Britches’ Betsy Hodges, who held a news conference about it at City Hall late Sunday afternoon, appearing with assistant Minneapolis Police Chief Medaria Arradondo and Linea Palmisano, who represents the 13th Ward on the City Council…

July 18th, 2017

Tuesday Tunes – Boz Scaggs

RandallsBPU Tuesday Tunes - Boz Scaggs

Right Speaker
Left Speaker
July 18th, 2017

Mitch The Yurtle McTurtle Scraps Obamacare Lite for Full Repeal

When it was learned last night that Sen.’s Mike Lee and Jerry Moran were definite NO VOTES on the Republicrat tweaked Obamacare Lite bill Majority leader Mitch the Yurtle McTurtle suddenly realized that the turd he has been polishing for the last couple months was still just a turd.

As I have said before Baracka Hussein and the Democrats designed Obamacare for complete and utter failure. Its entire unfix-able purpose is to self-destruct eventually leading to the complete and total Single Payer government takeover of our healthcare system.

“Oooooh Canadaaa, Our Home and Native Laaand, and God Save The Queen!”

So, will the GOP’s next step actually be a PROMISED full repeal of Obamacare?

Mitch the Yurtle McTurtle released this statement:

Mitch the Yurtle McTurtle Obamacare Repeal Statement

We shall see. For now it looks like the Dung Beetle Republicrats have grown tired of pushing that big ole Obamacare turd around.

July 17th, 2017

Why Can’t Colin Kaepernick Find A Job?

Coming to the defense of the very UNEMPLOYED Colin Kaepernick Chicago Tribune Commentary writer Diana Goetsch can’t seem to figure out why pissing on the graves of those who spilled their blood for the very freedom that protects hers and Colins anti-patriotic stupidity is such a big thing?

Why can’t Colin Kaepernick find a job? I think Diana Goetsch answered her own question.

Some Pull Quotes of interest…

Chicago Tribune — Why can’t Colin Kaepernick find a job? At a time when NFL teams are scrambling for good backup quarterbacks prior to training camps, the former San Francisco 49er, who took a knee during the singing of the national anthem last year to protest police shootings of unarmed black men, can’t get a tryout. Kaepernick, 29, is better than most backups and several starters, with stats to prove it…

Along with flags the size of cornfields, the pageantry accompanying the national anthem often includes military flyovers, color guards and lots of people in uniform saluting. But even before 9/11, no ritual has been more baked into spectator sports than fans being told to rise for the singing of “The Star-Spangled Banner.” And none is more deceiving.

While fans do it out of habit or peer pressure, saluting the flag before a football game makes about as much sense as reciting the Pledge of Allegiance before seeing a movie or walking the dog…

Unlike the magisterial “America the Beautiful,” “The Star-Spangled Banner” is a pompous battle number. Spurred by a petition bearing 5 million veterans’ signatures, Congress designated it the national anthem in 1931, but it wasn’t until 1942, and our entry into World War II, that it was played on loudspeakers daily before games.

July 16th, 2017

Somewhere This Monday Morning In Detroit

Somewhere This Monday Morning In Detroit

Monday is once again upon us and we are off and, well, “It’s Monday again anyway.”

Hope your weekend was FRICKEN’ AWESOME and your hangover this early morning is somewhat co-operative. If their is such a thing as a co-operative hangover that is. I don’t do hangovers anymore but from what I remember???

“Hmmm, I can’t remember.”

Let’s slap this week of a horse in the ass and giddy up here. Try and not spill your coffee…

BabeForTrumpYes, She is a #BABEFORTRUMP and no, I do not care if I get laughed at for losing all three rounds of a Greco Roman wrestling match with her… →

“After all, I am the same guy that was penalized and my ‘Summer Nudist Camp’ membership revoked for not jumping high and far enough during our annual Leap Frog competition!

If things weren’t just about as confusing as confusing could already be, the biologically retarded gender confused who for some confusing reason are allowed to join our Military Services will now be afforded TAX PAYER money to complete their trangenderismness thanks to the YEA votes of 24 obviously confused Republicrats.

I am Just — in F**Ken’ Amashed!!!

Mitch the Yertle McTurtle delayed the ‘ObamaCare Lite’ healthcare vote as Sen John McCains current health issues and subsequent surgery seemed to have developed about the same time McTurtles realized he doesn’t have enough votes to pass his Gem of a Republicrat bill of Bullsh!t.

“Oooh, I LOVE THIS SONG!”
Nick Lowe – I Knew The Bride (1985) “CRANK IT UP!!!”

Lastley, I am a firm believer that anybody who runs for and is elected to the House and Senate should be TERM LIMITED from a lifetime appointment. We elect our Presidents to no more than two terms, eight years and then politely boot them the hell out yet we allow our elected legislators to spend a lifetime screwing up yours, mine and our lives as a career?

The Founding Fathers designed our system of Government so that the common farmer, cobbler or blacksmith who felt the need to serve was given the opportunity to do so as a service to his country and community for a period of time before returning home to harvest crops, repair shoes and iron bent. Real careers where the value of a dollar meant something and the trials of life truly valued.

That being said, as Goofy as it may sound at this moment … I am glad Kid Rock is considering a run at it.

“Make America Rock Again!”

And, take one guess at which career ‘Fake Indian’ politician is beating her War Drums over the smoke signals she is seeing in the distance.

The Phony Fake Indian (Dipshit-Mass) Elizabeth Warren

Have yourselves a Wonderful Day and a Great Week

July 16th, 2017

Some Sunday Night Soothiness…

I am sorry I Lied. How about we just blame it on me accidentally channeling my inner Progressive Democrat?

Iron Maiden – The Clairvoyant

“CRANK IT UP!”